Why do friends turn against you

You used to be best friends, but now your ex-BFF is turning everyone else against you. Whether you wronged her or she decided to move on with a new clique, a friend leaving your life is painful enough without the added insult of taking everyone else along for the ride.

Instead of acting aggressively or taking the opposite type of passive approach and letting it happen, use your communication skills to stop this great migration. If you're at fault for your friend going from best to ex, apologizing is step one to stopping her bad behavior.

While there's no excuse for turning everyone else against you, her actions may come from a place of sadness or hurt. Before you throw in the towel, try talking to him and offering an apology. Clearly, and sincerely, tell him that you're sorry.

Express regret and acknowledge that you wronged him. Ask for forgiveness. As part of forgiveness, ask your friend to stop turning your other buds against you. Your friend may need some space to get over whatever's upset them, before your friendship returns to normal. Give them some time, rather than bugging them to talk to you. That will make you look needy and irritate them. If your friend persists in not speaking to you, or believes someone else over you, then it may be that your friendship wasn't really that strong to begin with.

Many friendships end because one person gets the wrong impression over something, or even because another party lies. It may even end for no good reason at all. But there's nothing you can do to make someone stay friends with you. If your former friend is being very juvenile and nasty, don't show any response or let them think that they've got to you. People can be very mean to someone they used to call their friend, and immature individuals may enlist other friends to pick on you. Don't give them the satisfaction; show that you're more mature than they are, and take absolutely no notice of their silly behavior.

Even grown adults can be very childish and mean towards their former friends. Teens can be even worse. If you're being picked on by your friend, act casually and shrug it off. If you do want to try maintaining the friendship, boundaries are key. Communicating this in person is often best.

Choose a public place that also offers some privacy, like a park or other neutral location. Just try to avoid ending a friendship by text message, if possible. Before the discussion, write out what you want to say.

Will you explain your reasons or simply say the friendship no longer works for you? Organizing your thoughts and practicing beforehand by yourself or with someone you trust can boost your confidence and help you stick with your decision.

They may not want to end the friendship, so they may cut you off or try turning the situation around to make you feel guilty. Try not to react, even if they react angrily or aggressively. Restate your decision calmly but firmly and leave. If you decide to cut off contact, trust your instincts and avoid reaching out or responding to attempts to contact you.

Remember why you ended the friendship. People can change, certainly, and if your friend reaches out with an apology that seems sincere, you might try rekindling the friendship. Just move slowly to protect yourself. Getting trapped in a toxic friendship can make you feel embarrassed, confused, or distrustful of others.

You probably have some good friends who really do want to offer support. Reaching out to them and explaining the situation can help you regain those positive friendships , which can help you heal. Practice good self-care by:. A therapist can help you begin exploring your feelings about the friendship and consider options for ending it or repairing it. Read this article in Spanish. Crystal Raypole has previously worked as a writer and editor for GoodTherapy.

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