Why life isnt fair

What she is referring to here is a mindset of resilience — the ability of a leader to recover from difficulties and setbacks. All leaders experience setbacks, roadblocks and challenges; it just comes with the job. They absorb the impacts, reflect on what went wrong and what pushes against them and their effort to progress, adjust as needed and err on the side of positive action to gain forward momentum. You cannot control every situation you encounter, but you can control your imagined future, mindset and subsequent choices.

Your imagined future — that which is possible every day and every moment of every day — will affect your success and enjoyment in life and leadership. And the choices you make will precede the actions you take. Be that and figure out how that is important to others. Everyone else is taken. I focus on what I am good at. For a long time, consultants, coaches and psychologists recommended placing focus on improving weaknesses. However, the most successful among us do just the opposite: they focus on their strengths to the point of trying to make them even stronger.

Those who are the best the very best focus on their core strengths and work to exploit those strengths for their own gain and in support of their team to accomplish shared goals. Situations will continue to change. When faced with challenges, choose your own way by focusing on a positive mindset and leveraging your strengths to reach your envisioned future state. What will you do with the world as you find it? In our zealous pursuit of fairness, we have banished our urges to like one person more than another, one thing over another, hiding them away as dirty secrets of our humanity.

Since social life isn't really fair, why go on pretending it is? Wouldn't we be better off with an ethics that acknowledges the stubborn facts of inequity, bias, and partiality? I think it would be wiser if we showed our unfair tendencies a little more kindness--indeed, if we favored favoritism. Moreover, the cosmos itself doesn't seem much interested in fairness. Nature, after all, is "red in tooth and claw" as Tennyson suggested and Darwin confirmed. And in a cruel twist, our wish to see it as fair keeps us from making it so.

The Studies:. Skip to content Site Navigation The Atlantic. Popular Latest. The Atlantic Crossword. Was the offense intentional? Is this particular violation worth your time and energy, or are you better off letting it go? After this check-in, you may realize an unfair situation is not such a big deal in the grand scheme of things, like when someone cuts you in line at the grocery store.

Terri Trespicio is an award-winning writer, speaker, and a long-time media expert on health and wellbeing. She was one of the early contributors to meQuilibrium, and her work has been featured on Dr. Find her on Twitter TerriT. Her TEDx talk has more than 7 million views, and her work has been featured on Dr.