How can i be less impulsive

You might want to look into emotional dsyregulation and also borderline personality disorder. Try not to blame yourself. Often these behaviours go back to childhood. Somehow we learned that these behaviours would protect us, and maybe they did when we were a child.

The trouble is they no longer work when we are adults. But the good news is that therapy can help! We wish you courage and luck! I am trying desperately to repair myself before I lose my family. My impulsive behaviour is my worst trait. I have handed over all control of money and decision making to my husband, as per advice from my psychologist.

I feel like a child ready to through a tantrum every 5 mins. Self harming nearly daily and I chopped all my hair off and shaved one side of my head obviously hugely regretful. Is my impulsiveness going to continue to find ways of coming out?

Hi Jacqui, we are rather curious about this idea that passing over all control to your husband is the answer. What kind of psychologist is this? What kind of therapy are you doing? DBT has a huge success rate and is life changing for many. Other kinds of therapy can backfire, you see, particularly with c-PTSD. Things like endlessly talking about the past can put you in constant trigger mode and is the worst thing.

Did you discuss how it made you felt, are you constantly discussing the results of it and how to troubleshoot this so it works for you instead of against you? We certainly hope so. You are a grown woman, not a child, and any mental health practitioner should treat you like one.

My problem and question deals with impulsive behaviour and isolation. With other people in the room I can usually make better choices and limit my negative behaviour. Yet when alone I struggle. I am sure this is common to many people. I have suffered from depression for between years, I am open about it with people it is not hidden and many people are sympathetic. However, I do not live near family or close long term friends and my depression and social isolation mean that I have very few, if any, close friends where I live.

My finances are very tight, I am not in debt thankfully, but it always costs something to socialise, even if it is just the cost of a cup of something.

Consequently it is not unusual for me to spend long periods alone a week without a conversation is not unusual. And it is this isolation which makes space for impulsive behaviour and bad choices. The chance of me suddenly making new friends is limited and I cannot see a way to break my negative behaviour patterns. I do all the things I can to expand my support base, I do volunteer work, I take evening courses whenever I can, I have joined a reading group etc.

But the contacts I make are temporary and transitory, the length of the course etc, and my depression makes me awkward around people which leads to further difficulties in making friendships. Making plans and attempts to stop my poor decisions alone using my own brain feels a little like telling someone with a broken leg to fix it by walking on it. I have tried numerous types of therapy and numerous drug regimes, but I have not yet found anything to shift it. I know what I am going to do is foolish, I know that it will lead to negative feelings, but I I cannot stop my behaviour.

As my depression gets worse in the evening, when I am more likely to be alone my negativity compounds the difficulties.

Any suggestions? So we are not sure if you are being remarkably hard and critical on yourself here, or even if the negative behaviour is even an addiction which you need to accept as such and get help with, as addictions are very hard to control alone. List of Partners vendors. Impulsivity, or an impulsive behavior, is broadly defined as actions without foresight that are poorly conceived, prematurely expressed, unnecessarily risky, and inappropriate to the situation.

Impulsivity is associated with undesirable, rather than desirable, outcomes. Though not exclusive to people with borderline personality disorder BPD , if you have BPD, you may find yourself struggling to manage impulsive behaviors.

From making hasty decisions to getting into fights, impulsivity can cause harm to yourself and those around you. In addition to undermining relationships and your overall sense of well-being, impulsive behaviors can also lead to financial and legal harm if left unchecked.

Fortunately, there are treatments that can help bring impulsivity under control, including psychotherapy, mindfulness training, and pharmaceutical drugs. People who are impulsive are commonly described as:. It is, in fact, the instability that best characterizes BPD as a disorder. People with BPD typically struggle with the feelings of inadequacy that manifest with unstable emotions, unstable behaviors, and unstable relationships.

They may be quick to lash out at anything considered a slight and will often fail to recognize how those emotions are unreasonable or excessive. In psychological terms, impulsive behaviors are inherently inappropriate either in terms of scale or potential risk. A person with BPD is less likely to take into account potential consequences and will often turn to self-harm behaviors like binge eating or excessive drinking as a means to cope.

However, impulsive behaviors are not, in and of themselves, diagnostic of BPD. It only when the behavior is pervasive, detrimental, and interferes with a person's ability to function normally that a BPD diagnosis may be considered. With impulsivity, the person will act out without inherently recognizing that the behavior is abnormal. No single test can confirm whether impulsive behavior is the result of BPD or some other condition.

To this end, a person must meet the two major diagnostic criteria for the disorder:. Both criteria must be met to be diagnosed with BPD. It is a complicated process requiring clinical expertise and one that is prone to misdiagnosis. To avoid this, all other possible causes must be explored and excluded, both psychological and physical.

Impulsive behaviors are not exclusive to BPD. They are also associated with the following:. With borderline personality disorder, a person will have extreme emotions that they find hard to control. With antisocial personality disorder, there will be a marked lack of emotions.

Other symptoms are:. In intermittent explosive disorder , a person experiences frequent episodes of impulsive or aggressive behavior. Examples of this are:. People with kleptomania tend to have coexisting mental health disorders. These can include anxiety and depression. Trichotillomania is another rare condition. It involves a powerful desire to pull out your own hair. This condition is a type of obsessive-compulsive disorder , though it was formerly classified as an impulse control disorder.

Brain injury or stroke can lead to changes in behavior. This includes:. Impulsive behavior can lead to other inappropriate behaviors with potentially serious consequences. Research shows a relationship between impulsivity and:. Other research shows a link between impulsiveness and violent behavior.

If you or your child frequently behave on impulse, see a doctor. You can start with a primary care physician or pediatrician. If necessary, they can refer you to a mental health specialist.

How to approach this behavior depends on the cause. In many cases, the person is not at fault. They may not have the ability to change.

Everyone behaves impulsively sometimes. Edit this Article. We use cookies to make wikiHow great. By using our site, you agree to our cookie policy.

Cookie Settings. Learn why people trust wikiHow. Download Article Explore this Article parts. Related Articles. Part 1. Write down your goals. The first step in being less impulsive is to determine how you want to prioritize your time. It might mean creating a business plan. If you're a student, you might want to create a study plan. The important thing is to record your current goals in order to measure them against your impulses. You might think of this written record as a kind of container for your values, intentions, commitments, best practices for yourself, and tasks that support these goals.

You can use a notebook, a spreadsheet, or another method that works for you. The main thing is that the framework is accessible and functional. Set aside time for regular review and planning. Did you follow your listed priorities? Note what went well, what you found challenging, and what you might do better.

You might find that you need to do this review more often until you find a system that works for you. Doing a brief daily review is recommended; you might also do a more extensive monthly review. Follow a daily schedule. Try writing down a daily schedule for yourself, using 30 minute blocks of time. Write checklists for yourself. Checklists minimize opportunities to act impulsively by ensuring that nothing is forgotten, and that no unnecessary steps are added to a task.

Many surgeons are required to follow checklists when they perform surgery to help them stay on task. Checklists can be used across multiple settings. Use a travel checklist to help you pack more efficiently; a shopping checklist to help you only purchase the intended items; a study checklist to make sure you attend to each part of the assignment.

Crossing items off a checklist can provide motivation to complete a task. Color-code your calendar. Keeping a calendar is essential for anyone who struggles with impulsivity.

Using different colors for different categories of activity will help support your use of a calendar.